Give this phone to someone you love, then run away

China knows how to make products. It’s not enough to make this bastard gold-plated - they added flowers! The 999 is $120 from eemobi.cn and has a “gravity sensor” (SENSOR POSITION: DOWN!), a 2.6-inch display, and 1.3-megapixel camera. It also has “7 common games.”

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